Q: I feel like I could lose a few pounds, but once I do everyone thinks I look sick.  What do you suggest I do to tone, rather than lose more weight?  Also should I drink protein shakes and muscle building formulas?

A: Firstly, I would be remiss if I didn’t emphasize that you are the one who needs to be happy with your shape, your body, and your health.  It’s very easy to get swept up in what everyone else thinks of you because, let’s face it, everyone has an opinion. Unfortunately, even our close friends and family can sometimes have strong opinions of what we should or should not look like, how many pounds we should lose or gain, and how we should manage our lives.

As a strong woman, you need to own your body and identify what feels healthy for you.  If you are comfortable at your current fitness level and size, then just work on toning up and maintaining your weight.  If, on the other hand, you think you would be healthier (emphasis on healthy not skinny) minus a few pounds, then your focus should be on toning and weight loss.

To help you identify which of these options you should choose, I would suggest first calculating your body fat percentage.  You can do this on your own, at home, with very little equipment or expense.  Click here for my article on how to calculate this for yourself and what the numbers mean. If your body fat percentage places you in the average or above average categories for you age and gender, then your weight is at a healthy number and you shouldn’t worry about dropping more pounds.  If your percentage falls below average, then you’ll need to focus on increasing your ratio of muscle to body fat.

Strength Training to Reduce Body Fat

Strength training is the best way to re-shape your body, so taking the time to commit to a regular muscle toning routine is the second step.  I recommend 3 days per week (2 days per week if you’ve never done any strength training before) in the beginning – you can always add more later if you want.  Over the next week, I’ll be posting three different total-body strength training/toning routines, based on various fitness levels.  These would make a great starting point for you.  To determine which fitness level you should choose, try some of my at-home fitness tests.  Your scores will point you towards the most appropriate toning routine.

Losing Body Fat, Not Muscle

Weight loss is always about calories in versus calories out – basic mathematics.  When you exercise you expend calories (whether the exercise is cardio or strength-focused).  Thus if you’re simply looking to tone your muscles and maintain your weight, you must remember to eat enough to balance out all your exercise.

If you follow this plan, you won’t need to worry about consuming “muscle building” formulas  (which will likely cause weight gain as they are high in calories).  Instead, focus on the types of foods you eat – choose whole grains but get the majority of your carbohydrates from fruits and vegetables; choose lean meats rather than fatty red meat or dairy products; and limit your intake of excess sugar and saturated and trans fat (especially abundant in processed, packaged food and at restaurants).

The way you put together your meals makes a difference too.  Try to consume protein every time you eat carbohydrates – this slows digestion and the release of sugar into the bloodstream.  It also keeps you fuller for longer so you won’t be diving for sweets mid-afternoon or late at night!

In the end, focus your energy on how you feel, not on what other people are saying.  It’s your body and your health, so make that your priority.  Whether that means losing or gaining a few pounds (and the body fat guide can help you figure that out), just focus on supporting your own choices for a healthy lifestyle.  Once you do that, you may be surprised to find others adopting your behavior!